THE VALUE OF HAVING AN INFERTILITY MENTOR

For most of you, infertility is usually a big and difficult trip. You are looking for help, you are looking for that person who could understand you but not pretend to understand, who could sense and support you, a person to stand by you and not feel empathy for you… You are looking for a captain to drive you to your motherland … a mentor who will direct you to new, more sweet and calm seas! Your mentor will be the only special one who will teach you how to cope with an issue like this (it is not a problem but just an issue), who will provide you solutions (ideally if it is your doctor and counselor on this trip) and will teach you how to externalize and express your feelings; something that is really beneficial and relieving in such a case. Whoever your mentor is, surely these are the 5 secrets he/she will teach you:

1. It is more than normal and acceptable to be sad

Everyone will tell you to be “positive,” but the truth is that when you look for the family you want to have in your life, you have every right to be sad sometimes.

I recently found this passage:

“Sadness, I’ve learned, it’s real love, it’s all the love you want to give, but you cannot.”

If this does not apply to infertility, I do not know what else might be. Let yourself get upset when you get bad news. Take some time for yourself. Then get up the next day, focus on your goals and try again.

2. Every step counts

Every diagnostic test is also a seemingly small step in the process of acquiring a child and teaches both you and doctors more about your body. Even a small step like a test can help you and prepare you mentally for the upcoming bigger steps. It can often feel that instead of going one step ahead you go two steps back but everyone is working for the ultimate goal … to achieve your pregnancy, trust us!

3. IVF is not as frightening as you may think … In fact, it’s a lot promising!

Trust your doctor and let him lead you in the quickest and safest way towards the realization your biggest dream … carrying your own child. You may think that because you are young enough or because you have no obvious health problem, it is not appropriate for you to treat yourself with such an assisted reproduction treatment … On the other hand, you are afraid to trust anyone either because you are weakened by the failures of the past or because you tend to deny that you need help. Listen to your mentor and counselor and come a step closer to completing your life puzzle by having your own child.

4. Infertility does not affect only your own relationship

The infertile couples are distinguished by intense fear of abandonment / rejection by their partner, anxiety about the idea that their partner will not want to stay with them, fear that their partner’s feelings for themselves are not as strong as their own, they fear they will lose their partner’s love, worrying that they are lagging behind other people. Nevertheless, talk to your spouse/life – partner because communication, trust and sincerity between you are the only key to your relationship and only these can keep you together, fighting, trying to overcome all the obstacles together. You are a team … do not let anything break what you’ve been building for so many years together! You are together in this!

5. Infertility will surely leave its scars over the years but it will make you a stronger woman and mother!

You will certainly not be able to cure all the wounds left behind by infertility and the difficult journey you have made with your life partner. Nevertheless, never forget…. Our difficulties make us stronger, help us to discover ourselves, to learn its limits and its strengths! Difficulties help us see and perceive different aspects of ourselves, they harden us, mature us and definitely prepare us to better cope with what the future holds for us. Be receptive to the difficulties … Prepare now since the journey of maternity is more beautiful but also harder! As a mother you have to understand that you will be more vulnerable because you will have a second heart beating out of your own … less sensitive and vulnerable…a second heart that you should protect every hour, day and moment! Get ready now!

We are here, always for you, to direct you and guide you to this sweet but also great journey! Trust us and give us the chance to lead you a few steps closer to creating your own family and having this beautiful angel who will change your life for good!